RTD: Reflecting on Parenting

How we parent is the culmination of a large number of factors, variables, and experiences. I want to take some time this week to reflect on the way that we interact with the kids. It is not productive to have discussions on “which parenting practices are better” or to give our audience “tips to become better parents”.  However, the process of reflecting on “why” we do what we do is one that can build us up as individual parents.

If I look at my parenting style and some of the ways I interact with my kids, there are some things that don’t mesh with my personality. I can attribute these things to knee-jerk reactions of what I’ve heard or what I’ve been told or experienced.  The idea of reflecting on why we parent the way we do is to be more deliberate and not give in to those knee-jerk reactions and to be better parents than we experienced ourselves.

I was spanked as a child, and my wife was spanked like once.  We both decided not to spank because it was not a discipline that worked with either of us.  It may have modified our behavior temporarily, but it did not teach us anything useful. Does that mean that we look down on those who spank.  Of course not!  To me, spanking is a form of effort put into parenting.  I was spanked, but THAT is not the reason I don’t currently speak to my parents… There’s many other reasons.  My wife and I made a conscious decision not so spank, which means we make conscious choices to DO certain things.  This is what we will chat about this week and reflect on.

How do you share the child-raising responsibilities?  Do you discipline your kids the same or different from the way you were disciplined?  What do you remember thinking about your parents?  What do you think your kids think about you?

~JB

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