We do not refer to ourselves as experts in parenting, and this goes double for romanticizing our wives. So in honor of Valentine’s Day, some of our founding members are sharing our attempts and shortcomings in trying to strut-our-stuff on this sacred holiday.
February 14, 1983. I was 8 years old and head-over-heals in love with my teacher, Miss Mitchell. Like the rest of my classmates I came to school that day with a bag of Valentine’s Cards for the class exchange. Every kit comes with a card for teacher and mine was taped onto a gigantic heart-shaped box of chocolates complete with gold foil accents and a lacey border. Just as I was handing this extravagant expression of my love to Miss Mitchell, Yelly McStupidFace shouts, “James is in love with the teacher!” and everyone started oohing and making kissy noises. Miss Mitchell came to my rescue and when I was settled in my desk she addressed the class with a little talk about the significance of Valentine’s Day. Then she dropped the bomb. She would be leaving for a couple weeks and would be returning as Mrs. Adams.
My wife works at a hospital in the admitting department with a bunch of women. They’ve seen me in there many times over the years and one year for Valentine’s Day we mentioned doing something small for one another, but I wanted to make a statement. I made two orders from an online florist to have them delivered to her at work, because I wanted to make all the divorcee and ex-wives jealous of our young love. On the night they were to be delivered, I kept an eye on my phone waiting for the thanks for my wonderful gesture. Instead, I got no call. When she got home she said that she had no deliveries. As it turns out, the flower deliveries went down to the shipping dock where the trucks are, and since it was Friday she wasn’t able to see the flowers until Monday when they had time to wilt. So I ended up looking like an idiot who got her old flowers after Valentine’s Day.
The Rookie Dad:
Women are hard to understand. They say that they don’t want anything but in reality they do. A couple of years ago for Valentine’s Day I was a a naive young married man. I asked my wife what she wanted for Valentine’s Day and she said she didn’t need anything. We had just decided to go out to eat that night and enjoy each others company. She was irritated that I did not at least send flowers to school for her. Then she came home and saw that I still had nothing for her, adding to the aggravation. When I got home, still empty handed and asking if she was ready to go out to eat I received a prompt “NO!” and the silent treatment for an hour. Not knowing why I was receiving this form of cruel and unusual punishment I went to break the silence and ask why she was mad at me. She described to me her feelings as she saw all of her teacher friends walk out with flowers from their loved ones. I apologized and told her that she said that I did not need to get her anything. Understanding that she did say that she told me that she did not really mean that. I asked if I could make it up to her with a fancy dinner, to which she laughed and said that we had already had this planned so it doesn’t count. Reluctantly, she came out to dinner with me and what was the most uncomfortable dinner that the two of us have had. While I was trying to do what something that she wanted I learned a valuable lesson, never trust a girl who says she does not want anything for Valentine’s Day.
Instead of griping about the over-commercialization of this “Hallmark Holiday,” let’s see what all we have tried and see if we can find some help to know how to do better the next time we have to show our wives how much we love them.
We WILL be doing our live Chat on Twitter this Wednesday at 6pst/9est using the hashtag #DadsRT. We will see you there.