‘Twas the Day After Christmas

Here’s my spin on the holiday classic, albeit a few days early. Enjoy! I wish everyone a Merry Christmas, Happy Channukah & a blissful, successful & healthy New Year.

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‘Twas the day after Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
‘Cept me and my spouse

The stockings were ripped
from the chimney without care
Proof that our children
Do not like to share

The children were splayed
All cockeyed in their beds
While visions of playsets
Danced in their heads

And I with my checkbook
And receipts, a big load
Had just started counting
All the money we owed

When out on the lawn
There arose such a clatter
I ran to the window to see
What was the matter

When what to my wondering
Eyes should appear
But a miniature sleigh
And eight tiny reindeer

The little old driver
Climbed down in a hurry
He ran to our door.
Boy, his feet, they could scurry

With quickness he spoke
“It might seem suspicious
But I need your help.
Your cookies’r delicious!”

“The sugar, the sweet
Just melted ‘n my tummy
I’d love a big batch
To take north to my honey.”

“I’m a snack connoisseur
From north pole to south
And yours were the best.
See the crumbs on my mouth?”

My wife had no words
Her mind simply played hooky
She knew that ‘ole Santa
Was no cookie rookie.

“But Santa,” she said
“It’s a secret recipe…
If I share it with you
My family’d kill me!”

Our sons heard the noise
And sprang from their beds
When they saw ‘ole St. Nick
They were scratching their heads

“Hello there, my boys.
“Do you know why I’m here?
Your Mom’s cookies you left
Were the best this whole year!”

“May I load up a box
of the tasty delights
To take home to Mrs. Claus
Before I take flight?”

The boys looked at him puzzled.
“What’s in it for us?
You must know this Santa —
Get something, we must!”

“Well, boys, I’m quite shocked,”
Santa said, all perplexed.
“You’ve got loads of gifts.
I’m positively vexed!”

“We’ll take a few toys
But you simply must pay.
Wait, we know!” the boys’ said.
“How ’bout a ride in your sleigh?”

Santa pondered the thought
then conferred with his lot.
“The deer say it’s cool.
So sure, why not?!!”

The boys climbed in the seat,
And they looked miniature-sized.
“C’mon Santa,” they screamed.
“We’re ready to fly!”

They sped into the sky
With a rein in each hand.
They smiled and they laughed
While surveying the land.

“Look at the houses and cars,”
they shouted with glee.
“Wow, this rocks, Santa.
“But look out for that tree!”

When they finally descended
They were filled with such joy.
“Thank you, Santa,” they said.
“That beats any old toy!”

Santa loaded his cookies
Then bid us adieu.
He called out to his deer
And upwards he flew.

Then we heard him exclaim
As he munched on a treat
“Happy Christmas to all!
Your cookies cannot be beat!”

(Photo credit: Kiss My Buttercream via Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA)

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About Happiest Daddy

Two boys, one wife and a ton of material. I live for family and I'm one of the most blessed people you will ever meet.

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