Mathematics, with apologies to Dr. Seuss

Everyone’s some kind of mathematician. Part I hate

It does you no good to be sittin’ and wishin’

That numbers be forever banned from your kitchen.

They’re fuzzy and friendly, they’ll do you no harm.

You need them, like puppies, they’re loaded with charm.

Let’s go to the garage and look in your car.

Without knowing some numbers, you won’t get far.


All of these numbers have meaning, you see.

They help you go fast, they help you have fun.

Without any numbers? Your car just won’t run.

I’ll go to the store for my dad – he needs milk.

I’ll count all my change so I won’t get bilked.

The milk costs two dollars and thirty-two cents

Count out sixty-eight, that’s my best defense.

Into the yard is the place we go next.

Home to so many improvement projects.

Let’s build a deck. How much wood do we need?

Length times the width’s what we need to succeed.

Into the kitchen. It’s time for a drink.

Let’s measure out lemonade over the sink.

It calls for one-half cup but I want just one glass.

I’ll divide through by two. I learned how in class.

Maybe a snack so I’ll make some noodles.

I’ll make some ramen so I’ll have oodles.

Two cups of water is how many ounces?

2 times 8 is sixteen my math brain announces.

Plug in my iPod. How many songs are downloaded?

One thousand two hundred and twelve are encoded.

That’s 3 thousand 6 hundred 36 minutes of song.

An average 3 minutes, if you’re singing along.

I guess math’s okay. I need math to get by.

This math’s not so hard. I just need to try.

Most of this stuff is just common sense.

Yep, I’m all in – Let the math fun commence.


A thing that makes me go hmm: since the word is mathematics, ending in ‘s’ why do we here in the States use ‘math’ as shorthand, instead of ‘maths?’  Why not leave your answer on the Dads RT Facebook page? Thanks for playing.




The Beginning
About David Stanley

Teacher & science guy, writer, musician, coach, skier and bike racer, I am interested… in everything; your story, food & spirits and music and everything in the natural world, spirit & sport. My son is 22 and still needs his Dad. I am 56 and so do I.
I blog on life and death, cancer and sports, kids and education at

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