Your Crappy Life Makes Me Happy

Photo credit: alterna2 / / CC BY

Photo credit: alterna2 / / CC BY

Most days, I love my life. Sometimes, I pine for those days when I was a carefree musician and if the clouds are grey enough, I even think about how my life would be if I’d stuck with it.  Then, life sends me a reality check.

On one particular grey day, I watched a documentary, The Other F Word,  featuring some of my punk rock heroes who are now dads.  The reality check for me was seeing that getting out while the getting is good – is good. Even the “successful” musicians featured in the The Other F Word weren’t doing that well and their busy touring schedules meant they were basically absentee fathers.

The Wrestler was also one of those films for me.  As I watched “The Ram” cling to the glory days while trying to establish some sort of focus and direction in his life, I was reminded of my aging fellow rockers who are still trying to “make it” despite insurmountable odds and countless failed opportunities.  The most successful musician in my old gang sings for a fairly popular band and is able to live off of his music, but he lives in his mom’s basement.

Seeing a film is less personal and contains far less awkward relief (T.G.I.Not.Me) than running into someone who is living the life you likely would be if you had chosen differently.  This happened to me last summer and after some polite exchanges and superficial catching-up, I left thinking, your crappy life makes me happy.

You ever see something or run into someone and you’re reminded of how good you’ve got it?


The Beginning
About James Hudyma

Dad. Husband. Teacher. Canadian. Guitar Picker. Songwriter.

A Team of One…

They whined, they complained. They argued, but … [Read Article]

I Just Don’t Know…

I've never felt more lost, confused, and helpless … [Read Article]

Work for Daddy…

My children, ages 4 & 2, are good at lots of … [Read Article]


  1. Many years ago, before I was married, I ran into a guy at the mall that I had played baseball against in high school. We hadn’t seen each other in a few years and had lost touch, but I knew he was about to enter his second season in Major League baseball.
    “What organization are you with?” he asked, and was shocked to hear that I was no longer playing ball. It stung a little for me.
    Fast forward to today, he’s had an incredibly successful career as an All-Star outfielder, has won some gold-gloves and a silver slugger award. What he doesn’t have is a wife and kids to share his life with. Though his life may not be crappy, I wouldn’t trade mine for his for a single day.

  2. Good Lord, I can identify with this. I think that’s all I need to say.

  3. Melissa says:

    I can relate to this! For me, it’s been pursuing my MSc and PhD, and putting off having children until now. I look back, and wonder what life would have been like if I’d stayed married, had children 15 years ago, and not gone back to school. I honestly think I would have regretted not going to school. And…I wouldn’t have met my significant other, or have had my little 6-month-old. Ah, the road not taken…. 🙂

  4. Mike says:

    As the guitar player in one of James’ former bands I share his sentiments 100%. As much as I wish that I was more guitar player than the guitar collector I seem to be now, leaving the biz was the best decision of my life.
    @Melissa: never doubt that decision. I made the same one. When I left the band I also went back to school for a career change (mechanical engineering). My wife and I had our first child 2 months after I received my degree and moved to a new city. It would have been nice to have kids earlier, but I am sure James would agree that I would have made a crappy dad back then.

  5. I agreed with it 100% great post, man. After seeing that movie it also made me think about how awesome it is to be a dad with great taste.

  6. Kind of sad if he is considered successful yet is living in his basement.
    Glad you can appreciate the road you chose. Nothing wrong w/moments of nostalgia.

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