I Survived The Unthinkable

The other day I did something that made me feel like I was having an out-of-body experience.  As it was happening I was trying to kick myself in order to somehow stop the words from leaving my mouth.  However, it is now several days later, and I am still alive.

I told my wife she looked like a Hobo!

Before you exile me, you need the context.  We were getting ready to leave the house and she was wearing a flowy V-neck and a long faded-pink hoodie that was unzipped.

Me: Are you wearing that shirt? 

Wife: Yep. 

Me: You wearing it like that? 

Wife: Uh huh.  

Me: You gonna wear that hoodie? 

Wife: Yeah… 

Me: You wearing it open like that? 

Wife: Yes… 

Me: I don’t know much about fashion… at all, but you look like a Hobo.  Now, I don’t know if there is a new fashion-trend to look like a Hobo, but… 

Wife: [Laughs… Thankfully!] 

.facebook_1062624143We will be celebrating our 9th year of marriage this Summer, and this is where we are in our relationship.  There is an understanding that either 1) I don’t know anything about fashion so my opinion is meaningless, 2) I am married to her so I will always say she looks good, so my opinion is meaningless, and 3) I’m a guy who has zero interest in fashion and therefore my opinion is meaningless.  Obviously, my wife is gorgeous, and shouldn’t take my opinion when it comes to fashion.


What is the worst thing you’ve ever said to your wife/husband that never turned into any kind of argument?



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  1. Don’t know if that would ever be considered a compliment. Halloween, maybe, if the comment was costume appropriate. Hobo fundraisers, maybe. Heading out to do yardwork, possibly. My biggest concern is that it opens you up to all kinds of rebuttal comments…
    “I didn’t want to look overdressed when compared to your standard frayed khaki shorts with blown out zipper/ ratty white t-shirt combo.”
    “I wanted to dress down so people wouldn’t think I married you for your money.”
    I think after about year 15 you’ll learn not to say anything, compliment or no (I’m at year 17.) Some call it capitulation. I call it the efficient allocation of emotional resources.

    • Well, we celebrate 9 years next week, which means I have a few more years to stick my foot in my mouth! I think she was mainly just surprised because I usually have no “useful” opinion about what she is wearing because I know NOTHING about women’s fashion.

  2. Your wife is the hottest hobo ever.

  3. And just when you get an opinion, fashion changes. As do hairstyles, food preferences, hormonal balances, the kind of shampoo or perfume she likes, and whether she wants to lay or sit on the couch. It’s easier nailing jello to the wall with a spatula…

  4. This happened last week or so.
    Her: God I cant believe my sister is wearing that dress. (Sister works out 3 hrs a day and has fake ((GREAT)) boobs.10 out of 10 at this family party)
    Me: Why?
    Her: Cant you see her pepperoni sized nipples through it?
    Me: …..(This is where I drifted off mentally and saw my self thousands of miles away on a safari in a jungle by myself. When all of a sudden, “click” I step an old landmine with a timer. And all I can think about is I would rather hear that “click” noise in real life then have to answer her question with a straight face.)

    • LMFAO!!! I would probably turn away while answering or just laugh uncomfortably. Hahaha!

  5. Synnøve @ Don't Chew On The Dinner Table! says:

    I actually take Hubbs shopping with me because he has better fashion sense than I do! Now, this has lead to many of my outfits being a bit lower cut than is maybe socially acceptable, but, all in all it, has saved me from my own serious fashion faux pas… That, and I am a bit color blind. 🙂

    • Ha! Well, it’s good my wife doesn’t do this. My female fashion sense is either in sportswear, or NSFW. 😉

      • Synnøve @ Don't Chew On The Dinner Table! says:

        I totally had to Google NSFW… THAT is how out of touch I am….;)

  6. I poured a glass of water on my wife in the middle of an argument. She knew it was coming because she saw that mischievous look on my face she knows too well. We ended laughing probably the hardest we’ve ever laughed together. Then we cleaned up the mess.

    • Awesome! I’m glad you guys have that kind of fun and loving relationship… Well, that time anyway! 😉

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