Laid-Off But Keeping Your Head Up

Currently, I fit the stereotype of dad who is the breadwinner. While that is changing in many families and will eventually change in our family, it gives me a sense of accomplishment knowing that I am the provider for my family. It gives me a sense of purpose every single day that I go to work.   That purpose was recently crushed when in a meeting with the Bob’s I found out that I was laid-off.


Men will never admit it, and women know this about us, but we have a strong sense of pride in everything that we do.  Even if it has become a failure, in this case me being laid-off.   Men, while they might not enjoy their jobs, do like providing for their family.  Even if that means that we work odd hours.  That pay stub that comes every two weeks is our feeling of accomplishment.

When the way of providing for our family is suddenly taken away from a man, our pride is gone.  We start to wonder if we will ever be able to be that provider again.  Each day that goes by is extremely tough for any one that has been laid-off.  Personally, I am trying to take this day-to-day.  I wake-up each day thinking that Today will be the day that my life will change.

My situation is better than most.  I have until October 31st to find a job.  My current employer does not even want to see me leave and have extended my employment for as long as they could, but budget reasons are eliminating my position.   Knowing that I have over 3 months to look for a job is comforting to a point.  Knowing that in 3 months the pay check will stop and wondering what will happen to my family is the part that is uncomfortable.  I look at our house, wondering if we will be in this house after the new year, or will we be facing foreclosure. I look at the life my son has, will he still be going to day-care or will I be home taking care of him (which is not really that much of a negative).  I look at my wife, will she be able to continue law school.

I look back at when I took my current job, I took it to provide the chance for my wife to go through law school.  It paid better and had better hours.  Now, just over a year later, I’m back on the market to look for a way to provide for all the things that my family has become accustomed to.  There are some that have said to stop putting so much pressure on myself, my wife being one of them.  What she does not realize is that when she asked me if she could go through Law school and I said yes, finding a way to support her through that was a major part of that answer.   That means, the pressure is on.

Since being laid-off, everyday is a challenge.  I have to keep my head up, I still have to play with my son, I still have to love my wife, I still have to go to my current job all while thinking about the future.  Wondering how different the future will look when I finally land a job that I so desperately want.

Who knows, maybe we will end up better off despite being laid-off?


The Beginning
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  1. Creed says:

    That’s really something. To know that you have an end date and have to try to find work by then. I would be anxious, like highly freaking anxious. This is an excellent post for those of us who are having difficulty enough balancing a career and a child.

    • Oh tell me about it! I go to work every day wondering if I will be here until Oct. 31st or if something will turn up before that time. It’s even more difficult to keep professional while I am work knowing that right now I do not really care anymore.

  2. Jess says:

    You know, my dad went through something very similar. You know what he did? He went back to school too. At 50 something years old, he went back and got a massage therapy license. I amSO PROUD OF HIM! His situation, was probably a little different, but maybe things will look up for you and your family…my thoughts are with you…it’s a very hard transition, but you’re doing the best you can, and that’s good enough for anyone in your family’s position 🙂 it’ll get better!

    • I know that whatever happens my family and myself will end up being better off then where we are now. It’s tough to keep thinking like that, but you have to keep your heads up.

  3. I’ve been there except I didn’t have 3 months to find a job. I got told I didn’t have a job anymore (someone else was going to have it) and I spent 3 months collecting unemployment. Its scary. Its nerve wracking. I didn’t get much sleep. Thankfully, I got the job I think I’m supposed to be at. Hang in there. Something will come. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself either. Know what you’re worth and go get it.

    • It is one of those things that you can only take day by day and hope that something happens that that particular day. Only so many resumes you can send out until you start to get frustrated.

  4. Good luck, you have to stay positive. This may not be much comfort be happy that this is not 2009 or 2010. I am single mom (adopted on my own) so I am the breadwinner. I was laid off by a big bank during those years where it was nothing but layoffs everywhere. You will find a job and yes, I believe you will end up in a better place.

    • That has been one of the things that I am actually surprised at, there are jobs out there. I have had a few interviews so we will see what comes from it and I am lucky that it isn’t during the recession. I count myself lucky in that sense.

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