Born With IT

My kids really are amazing.

It amazes me that one could have been blessed with all the athletic ability in the world, while the other has no sports bone in his body. One could have the gift of being an amazing artist while the other can’t draw the most basic of stick figures. One, learning comes easy too, yet the other struggles.

IMG_0195As much as we think that our abilities as parents is what shapes our kids, I truly feel that each kid is born with something. A certain IT factor.

I have never forced anything on my kids and yet they both seem to gravitate toward certain things. When Tyler was born I had these ideas that I could turn him into this amazing athlete and that we would sit around on the weekends watching sports (much to his mothers disliking.) Sports just isn’t his thing. He tries but he just doesn’t have IT.  He’s an artist, a scholar, someone that will amaze you with his mind.

The IT that he was born with is much different than his younger brother.

IMG_4710I could tell from an early age that Carter had a certain something when it came to sports. He always gravitated towards the more physical activities and just by the way he threw a ball you could tell he had IT.  Books and art, while he enjoys them, just aren’t what he is into. Football, basketball, baseball, pretty much anything with a ball is what gets him going. I never forced him into anything, it was just something he was born with.

What we need to do as parents is to find out what our kids IT is and cultivate it. For every kid it’s different. Certain kids just aren’t cut out to do certain things and that’s OK.  I’ll be just as happy attending my sons art opening as I will be my other ones basketball game. As long as they are happy with whatever IT is, I’ll be happy.



The Beginning
About Daddysincharge

After 15 years as a News Photographer in the fast paced world of television news, I am now knee deep in Legos and laundry as the stay at home dad to to little boys. It was my choice to stay at home, so don't look at me like I am some kid of freak show. We're all parents just trying to raise our kids the right way. Some might be better at it than others, but if our kids love us for who we are, who cares.

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  1. Corey says:

    We’ve experienced the same thing. We’ve also noticed that each kid responds differently to motivation and discipline and we parent accordingly. Surprisingly we don’t get too many “that’s not fair” complaints.

  2. You just described my boys. My oldest is the same as yours and youngest as well. But you really bring it home in the last paragraph and nail the most important thing – cultivate their IT, not what we want their IT to be as their parents.

    To Corey’s point above, I see the same thing as well. Youngest respond to firm discipline, and really little else, while such discipline often leads to tears with oldest.

    I always figured my kids would be the same coming from the same DNA. I was wrong.

  3. I’m experiencing that my son has IT when it comes to athletic ability, however, he becomes disinterested pretty quick. I made a decision when we knew we were having a son that I would allow him to explore and discover what he likes. I’ll encourage his strengths, but ultimately, so long as he’s contributing and not just consuming, he can do what makes him happy.

  4. I am amazed at how different each of our kids are. We have four and I am so often blown away by the things they gravitate towards and how they go that direction without my help. Great thoughts!

    • Daddysincharge says:

      I used to think that I would try hard to make the kids like one thing, but I realized that they will like certain things regardless. It just happens.

  5. James Hudyma says:

    It is so awesome you are able to celebrate the unique talents of your kids. There are so many stories out there of kids who constantly felt disconnected from parents because of different interests or worse, they feel like they’ve disappointed someone because they didn’t follow in footsteps.

This is what I think...