Any restaurant. Without fail, my kids NEED to use the washroom as soon as the food arrives. As a parent I’m not only used to eating my food cold, my taste buds have evolved to extract maximum flavor from cold, stale food consumed at Ludicrous Speed. My real problem with the visit from the Pee-Pee Fairy is having to take my children into the cesspool of filth commonly known as the Public Washroom.
I’ve never understood why public washrooms are always so disgusting. At school and at home I’m always talking about how part of being a good person is making the right choices even when no one is looking.
To the degenerate who urinates everywhere except in the toilet, the angry homophobe who scratches poorly drawn genitalia and messages of hate into the stall walls, and to Dysentery Jackson Pollock, I ask:
What the hell is wrong with you?