What in hell do you want?

How would you answer that question?

I’ve been trying to figure out my answer for several months—maybe years now. I never could nail it down, though.

I want to be able to make money doing what I love. I want to have fun. I want less responsibility. I want to answer to myself. I want to buy toys that I don’t need, just because they are cool. I want to rebuild a truck, just to say I did it. I want to live in the perfect place—four seasons, none too harsh, all beautiful and perfect.

Conversely, I don’t want to deploy anymore. I don’t want people to steal from me anymore. I don’t want my kids to make stupid decisions. I don’t want to have to work too hard for anything. I don’t want to listen to people blather on about how hard they have it—even though they really don’t have it that hard to begin with.

Most of this is a pipe dream. I will never be independently wealthy. I will never not answer to someone. I will work hard for things I want. No place is perfect. My kids will always make stupid decisions. I will not buy expensive toys—because I know I don’t need them.

Even if they weren’t silly pipe dreams, it still don’t feel that any of this is really what I want anyway.

~

I don’t set resolutions. I do, however, set goals. This year, I tried to figure out what goal I was going to set for myself. The answer, simply, was to figure out what I actually wanted and try to find a way to achieve it.

Go big or go home, right? Maybe I should have picked cutting out half of my normal carb intake…

Thing is, I knew no matter what I decided I wanted, I knew I couldn’t do it alone. (Unless I decided I wanted to spend more time alone—which I didn’t.) So, I figured I better start with having a support group or three. My wife and kids were certainly going to be one. My extended military family, I’m sure, would be in there. Then I had you, a valuable member of an awesome community, to whom I hoped to discuss many difficult topics, share funny stories with, and possibly grow as a parent and spouse—maybe even as a man.

After I jotted all that down as my starting point, I began thinking of what it would take to secure those support groups. Spend more quality time with my beloved family, be a better Soldier and leader, and encourage our readers to bring more dads (and moms) together here on DadsRT, were some. Then it sort-of occurred to me—this is what I want!

I want a closer, tighter knit family. I want to be successful in my career, not just for me, but for those I lead. I want this space to become an enormous, thriving community in which conversation flows like a rushing stream.

Amazing how the answers are sometimes staring you in the face, isn’t it? Now I just need to make all this happen—and have a good time doing it. Looks to be a fun year.

~

So, I turn it back to you. What do you want? How are you going to do it? How can we help as a community? Let’s talk about it below.

Image via public domain