The Crapper

There is one place in my house that I consider mine.   Even though there might be a rubber ducky sitting next to me along with a bottle of bath bubbles with Elmo on it and a toy boat, I still call this place my own. It one place that I can lock the door open up a magazine read it with no interruptions.

That is what I said before the Kid was mobile.  Now that place is no longer a safe zone.  If I close the door and lock it, the screaming two year old tantrums ensue. No use trying to read about the Dino Costa radio show in my Men’s Journal.

As a result I sit there in my God given glory I keep the door open so that a two year old can play in the bathroom as I do my business.  Why he would is beyond me!  There are times I can not stand it.

What the hell though, he isn’t really bothering me.  I let him come in and play with some of his bath toys even though he isn’t taking a bath. I continue to read about the trials and tribulations of Dino Costa and his rise to being a DJ on XM/Sirius Radio.

I hear “poo” come from his mouth.  Looking up from my magazine I see him there holding his toilet seat wanting to take my place.

“Do you really have to go poo?”

The next words are words I will remember forever.  Why? Well for one I have never heard him place these two words together before.  Two, well it was the reason why I had to hurry and do my business.

“I DO!”

You know I was OK with it when the Kid would play but now he thinks just because I am doing it, he needs to do it.

All I want is some peace and quiet to do my business.


The Beginning
About The Rookie Dad

Father of One, Husband, and Blogger at The Rookie Dad. Contributor at Dads Round Table and at Traveling Dad.
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  1. JamesHudyma says:

    How the heck are we supposed to get any serious thinking done if our crapper time is stolen from us?

    • ManvDadhood says:

      @JamesHudyma Nothing worse than my 2yo standing outside the door whining!!!

    • @JamesHudyma I cherish those 45 minutes with all my heart….

    • @JamesHudyma @ManvDadhood @readbradthedad what I was more upset about was that he insisted on going himself and kicking me off the toilet!

  2. AskAGreatDad says:

    My daughter jiggles the door handle like Morty Seinfeld. I need my time time in the bathroom. It’s the only safe room I have left, and I have started to take 30 min showers.

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