If I knew then what I know now… At least that’s the idea. If we had our current knowledge in the past, we wouldn’t fall into the patterns we fall into time and time again. These patterns are strong and difficult to break. Many times we don’t recognize the patterns because they reoccur is different chapters in our life.
My kids are currently 9 and 6 years old, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have anything to learn from the younger, more idealistic version of myself as a new dad. Perhaps within a brief conversation I could learn something to help me navigate the Preteen years I’m coming up on. Well, that was my idea anyhow. Which is why I built a time machine and ignored all the repercussions to the Space Time Continuum, and had a quick sit-down interview with myself.
How old is your child?
6 months old.
What has been your favorite stage of their development?
She is so fat that she just rolls or scoots places. But I do miss when she would just sit and not go anywhere. The world was a lot safer for her when she wasn’t moving around in it.
When did you first Feel like a Dad?
Right after delivery. She was wrapped and I held her for the first time and kissed her little crying cheek. At that moment I was connected to her.
Do you know what you’re doing?
I don’t know. I figure if my kid wakes up each morning it’s a win.
What supports do you have to help you navigate the Dadhood?
I haven’t thought about that. I have my in-laws who help out with the practical logistics of parenthood, but I don’t have anyone to help me mentally meet the challenges I don’t know I will face.
What do you want for your child now? In 10 years? For their future?
I want them to sleep through the night. I want them to be independent and resilient in 10 years, because I’m sure I won’t do everything right. For her future, I want her to find her own way in the world, and be able to reach what she aspires for.
What do you look forward to sharing with your baby?
All my geeky hobbies of gaming, comics, and technology.
How have you adjusted to parenthood?
Is that something that even happens? There seems to be something new every day. Have you adjusted to it?
Haha… (ahem). No.
Whats the biggest challenge you’ve faced so far?
Moving in with in-laws and navigating the cramped quarters.
Don’t worry. We survive this, and the closeness is great for having g them babysit… A lot.
Are you taking enough pictures?
I think we may be taking too many. She pretty much has a photo shoot everyday.
How are you dealing with the stress – emotional and financial? Lack of sleep?
I think I’ve gotten used to the lack of sleep. Or maybe this is just my delirium speaking. I also had no idea the financial toll children took, so I don’t know ow how I’m handling that. Emotionally, having a daughter makes me feel like I have an opportunity to right a lot of wrongs done in the past in my family.
Those are all big aspirations. Keep working at them, and we will get there some day.
How has baby changed your relationship with your spouse? Friends?
I don’t know. It’s only been six months, but I think k the biggest change came when we found out we were pregnant. Since then, there’s been so much change that I don’t know what the new normal is.
Good point. I think that comes when they’re both in school.
How are you maintaining your identity as yourself and not just as dad and husband?
I kind of like those identities. I can’t say that I really knew who I was before this.
Is there anything you’re doing that you said you’d never do as a parent?
I don’t think so. All those things come when they are older. I’m just trying to enjoy her and remember all of the stages.
You’re right. Remember to control those snappy reactions as she gets older.