This Post is Daddy-Proof

I’m a blogger. In many cases, I’m a Dadblogger. Because I write about fatherhood and child-raising, and teen-raising,Dadbash-adweek and young adult-raising, I am attuned to the attitudes of those in the media who shape the world’s image of fathers and mothers. I watch commercials and read ads through a jaundiced eye that is ready to call out advertisers for reinforcing gender stereotypes on either side of the XX-XY axis.

It is 2015, people, and we should be able to recognize that both men and women can raise the children, change the diapers, go to work, repair a deck, cook dinner …

For the most part, those images are reflected in the media and the blogosphere.


But not always.There is a small and vocal minority that is pushing back, pushing back hard.

This reminds me of the confederate flag controversy that waves over our nation since the Charleston (SC) terrorist attack. Whilst a wide majority of the US says the flag should come down, those who back the confederate flag have become increasingly vitriolic in their defense of an ancestral symbol of southern white pride.

In a similar vein, most USAians of both sexes see a move towards more egalitarian parenting practices as a good thing. But it took only a quick tour of social media on this past Father’s Day Sunday to see the bashing that was handed out to fathers on a day when more dads than ever celebrated their increasing role as caregivers and nurturers.

The hashtag #EndFathersDay was certainly a hoax that started on 4Chan, but the people who picked it up and ran with it made it real.

  •  #EndFathersDay bc it’s a celebration of patriarchy and oppression.
  • Thank you for making #EndFathersDay #1 trend worldwide. We’re bringing light to an important issue. #patriarchy #feminism
  • #FathersDay-when men expect a whole day of recognition just for being a parent while the mothers’ sacrifice gets ignored.

I am perplexed.

If the father of your child is a misogynistic rat-bastard, why did you have a child with him?

If the goal of feminism is equality amongst the sexes, why wouldn’t an upsurge in the number of involved fathers be a good thing?

Why the pushback?

Men are easy targets. We have thousands of years of self-aggrandizing patriarchy behind us that is tough to set aside. When we protest too loudly at the ‘doofus dad’ syndrome, we’re shown 1950s-60s era coffee commercials as women are demeaned for their inability to make potable coffee.

Fair enough. But there are whole generation of dads who are not, and have never been, those dads and husbands.

We have work to do, people. Mothers and fathers alike.



The Beginning
About David Stanley

Teacher & science guy, writer, musician, coach, skier and bike racer, I am interested… in everything; your story, food & spirits and music and everything in the natural world, spirit & sport. My son is 22 and still needs his Dad. I am 56 and so do I.
I blog on life and death, cancer and sports, kids and education at

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