7 Unique Ideas for Your Elf on the Shelf

He's a creep

He’s a creep

I honestly have no idea why we introduced the Elf on the Shelf.

We were getting along quite nicely with our kids believing in Santa Claus and now with the Elf on the Shelf we just added a whole new layer to the ruse.  The way that I see it, the less you actually talk about something, the more the kids will believe what you have to say.  Tell them Santa Claus is real, take them to see him once a year, watch a few shows on TV, they get presents under the tree, and we are good to go… until next year.

But then along came this whole Elf on the Shelf nonsense and screwed everything up.

The first time he came to our house, our then five year old said flat out that he wasn’t real and that he was made of plastic.  He was right, but then we had to start making up stories about how plastic elves are indeed real and that if he wasn’t made of plastic we couldn’t survive the trip each night to the north pole.  It was all so dumb from the get go.  But hey, we live in a social media driven world and we had to keep up with the Joneses.

There are some people that get into this crap, but if you are anything like me, you get lazy and have to come up with reasons every day why the elf didn’t move.  Maybe he was tired, he doesn’t fly back on Tuesdays and Fridays, he had nothing to report because the kids were angels (HA!), or maybe he did move but he came back to the exact same place.  I’m not creative at all.  Ours just sits there looking stupid and creepy.  But I did come up with some unique ideas for our little guy.

  1. Run him over with a lawn mower.
  2. Flush him down the toilet.
  3. Put him out with the trash.
  4. Feed him to the dog.
  5. Use him as kindling.
  6. Feed him to the wolves.
  7. NEVER BUY HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE.

We are in too deep now.  The lies will continue to grow until none of it makes sense whatsoever.

I don’t know where this tradition started but I suspect that whoever introduced it is laughing all the way to the bank while the rest of us are left cursing out their existence.  What kind of tradition can be bought at Barnes and Noble for $29.95?

 

Comments

The Beginning
About Daddysincharge

After 15 years as a News Photographer in the fast paced world of television news, I am now knee deep in Legos and laundry as the stay at home dad to to little boys. It was my choice to stay at home, so don't look at me like I am some kid of freak show. We're all parents just trying to raise our kids the right way. Some might be better at it than others, but if our kids love us for who we are, who cares.

10 Things I Learned from Cancer…

We are always learning. Sometimes more so than … [Read Article]

The Pulled Pork & Spaghetti…

You love pulled pork. Crispy bark; sweet & … [Read Article]

RTD: Helping Bedwetters…

When I kiss my kids goodnight, I'm fairly … [Read Article]

Comments

  1. Happiest Daddy says:

    This is me at 11 pm at night beginning December 1st: “Where in the H*&! am I going to put this damn ELF!!!”

This is what I think...

*