So Far Gone

SoFarGone5Who would have ever thought that I could feel this way about something?  About someone.

Who could have ever known I would be so far gone this soon?

I look at him…and time just slows.  It’s everything everyone said it would be.  It’s a feeling, it’s that feeling, you’ll only know once you have a child.

My oldest son is me.  He looks like my wife, but he is me.

Sometimes it takes looking at pictures of him while he is asleep upstairs to fully appreciate it all and take the whole thing in.

In one picture he is having the time of his life at soccer; cutting through the field will ease, laughing with his friends.  Another picture is of him at hockey, his jersey pulling up above his hip pad at his back — his Devils jersey, the same as mine.  Here he is at his first Red Sox game, waiting patiently for Wally the Green Monster to emerge from his home within the wall for which he is named.

Another picture is of him with his younger brother.

Sure he teases him to the point that they fight, but it’s mainly because of his insatiable want for the little one’s attention.  They equally clash and love each other as I did and do with my siblings; as do most siblings.

Above it all, I just can’t wrap my head around how I can be looking at myself.  How can I possibly love something as much as I love this kid?  How can I look at these pictures of him and wish for them to come to life so I can see what he’ll do next?

I’m simply fascinated by him and it’s an indescribable feeling.

The scary part?

We had a second kid, the aforementioned younger brother.  The one we affectionately call — Freight Train.  The one who doesn’t wait for the world to come to him, but rather puts the world on notice with his arrival.

The one who is nothing like me, yet of whom I’m equally fascinated with.

My only question now is — what’s “so far gone” times two?

BoysPool

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About Brad the Dad

Enjoy a unique, fresh and entertaining perspective on parenting as Brad the Dad learns what it takes to raise 2 boys in today's world. #DadsRT co-founder.

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Comments

  1. This is awesome!

    This is something I ask myself everyday. I look at my son and see me. He is so much like me in so many ways. Yet, I am so fascinated to see how he will grow up and who he will be.

  2. Very touching. I also wondered how I would feel about my second. When he arrived it was like you said, “‘so far gone’ times two”.

  3. Happiest Daddy says:

    Honestly, it took me a little while to warm up to my second — I wondered how I would ever love a child as much as I love my first. It didn’t take long for #2 to rival my oldest for all my love and affection.

  4. Being a Dad is something people love to tell you about, but you can’t know what it’s really like until you’re a Dad yourself. Great post!

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