Father’s Day Reflections

At the birth of my first child I made an instant and subconscious vow to her.  I didn’t quite know or understand the many layers of the promise I was making, because I was already anxious about becoming a father.  This was due to the fact that the examples and models I had to look up to for advice were non-existent.  But when I first say her, when I first held her, and when I first kissed her I made her a promise in my heart.

I will be better.

I will be better than the step-father who raised me and the biological father who disappeared.  I will be better than that step-dad who has a past that negates the present.  I will be better than the men who let me down.  My daughter wasn’t even twenty-minutes old, but I knew I would be better.  However, I didn’t know how.

My love is all I can offer. 

 There is no such thing as a “Parenting Expert.” There is no formula for raising “normal” children.  There aren’t 3 easy steps to making difficult kids compliant.  Fatherhood isn’t easy.  We will stumble, and fail.  Fathers will remain silent when words are needed, or say the wrong things at the worst time.  We will miss an opportunity that calls for compassion because of our temper.  However, there is one thing a father can give his kids that they can get from no other place on Earth: their love.  No matter how many times we screw up, when we do in the name of love, the true message will come across.  Love covers a multitude of shortcomings.

This Father’s Day, I want to take a moment to be thankful for my kids.  I am thankful that I have not screwed them up yet.  I am thankful that they know what it is to feel loved.  I am thankful to be a father.

Happy Father’s Day

~JB

Comments

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Comments

  1. Such a great piece! I think alot of us feel the same way when your children are born.

    • JoeB says:

      That is something that has kept me on SoMe and why I was so excited to connect with the Round Table Dads… We have our issues, but we are trying to be better, and we (or at least I) get strength from these connections to other dads.

  2. I am thankful to my kids for making me a better person and better father. Some days the training is pretty rigorous, but I think I am getting the hang of it.

    • JoeB says:

      That’s a great attitude. Raising kids is a challenge, but it’s one that makes us better.

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