I hit this phase about 3 or 4 times a year. Once during each season. A time where work slows, my writing gets difficult, I’m not even interested in sex. It is a time where I lack motivation, energy, and drive.
I can’t explain when and how my lack of wanting-to-do-anything comes, but it is here.
Work has now slowed. There are times where I am extremely busy followed by sudden lack of projects. I know that it will soon get busier. Very busy. I am already planning those busy times. Scheduling things and the such.
I sit here trying to hammer out a post. Nothing. I can not wrap my mind around writing on any certain topic. I start searching my mind for something that would work. Sports, TV, Parenting, the pain in my back from shoveling out of 20 inches of snow in the last week. Still I can not come up with anything. I can stare at a blank computer screen, the cursor teasing me, almost yelling at me “HAHA YOU CAN’T WRITE ANYTHING!”
God Bless my wife, she is trying to get me going. I’m just not interested in sex. I don’t know why. All I want is to go to bed, read my book, and go to sleep. Just to wake up and go through the day again unable to cure my funk.
I don’t call this depression. I’ve been through that, seen professionals for help, and gotten over that. This is not that bad. It is a funk, rut, stuck, whatever you want to call it. I keep wondering what has changed in my life trying to pin this feeling on something and nothing has changed.
Let’s blame the weather shall we. Yes that is it! 20 inches of snow, stuck in my home wanting to spend so much time with my family that my personal time is non-existent. Yes, Damn you weather for putting me in this funk! Bring on spring!