Our first was born too soon. She was 4 pounds, pretty big for a 31 week preemie. I was so proud and so scared.
The delivery did not go well. Just before our baby girl crowned, the doctor lost composure and told the nurses to get ready for surgery immediately or we were going to lose her. We didn’t lose her. I openly wept when I heard her cry.
She’s here! She’s alive! She’s breathing on her own! – These are not things a new parent should have to say.
Parenthood began with 3 weeks in the NICU. The experience was like an alien abduction movie. The NICU was full of babies hooked up to machines and monitors. The atmosphere is a mix of hope and despair. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
The “tanning sessions” under the blue lights of the Bilibed helped Imogen overcome jaundice. Seeing her this way broke my heart but I was always there just the same.
Our daughter never needed assisted-breathing but she wasn’t able to eat on her own. I held her while they inserted the feeding tube into her nose and down into her stomach. I would rather have been stabbed in the gut but I needed to be the one to hold her, to let her know it was for the best and that I was there to make sure everything would be okay.
On her second last day in the NICU she ripped the tube out of her nose and ate an entire bottle on her own. She was ready to go home.
I learned to change a diaper while minding tubes and wires.
I learned to bathe my daughter without aggravating the intravenous.
My wife and I learned to chart bowel movements, weigh diapers, measure fluids, and assess breathing patterns. We learned to read the monitors and interpret the beeps and bells so we knew how she was doing and what she needed to grow strong enough for us to take her home.
They say parents who spend enough time in NICU develop NICU-itis, an unhealthy dependence on the technology and routines of the NICU that lasts weeks after baby is finally home. We had a bad case of NICU-itis.
We bought the mother-of-all monitors from the baby store. We did all the things the nurses did in the NICU and recorded them in a log book I created. We didn’t take her out for fear of exposing her to germs. Guests had to be healthy and were required to wash hands with disinfecting soap. We finally stopped the madness about 3 months later and admitted to ourselves that Imogen was just fine and that we could stop treating her like a fragile preemie and just start being parents to a healthy baby girl.
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Did you have a preemie?
Was your preemie a NICU baby?
Did you get NICU-itis?
Any questions about having a preemie or being in the NICU?
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About James Hudyma
James…I’m so glad Imogen survived. How is she doing today?
My sister was born 12 weeks premature and I remember my father saying that he could her in the palm of his hand. She weighed only a little more than 3 pounds. Today, she is a strong, fit woman who has given birth to two boys and is healthy as can be. It is a miracle that she survived…and we can’t imagine our lives without her.
That’s a great story. Very positive. Gives me a lot of hope for her future.
Imogen is doing well. She does have vision issues and some digestive issues but nothing that will prevent her from doing anything any other kid could do. She’s 5.
Thanks for sharing your story. My son was not a preemie, but he was born at just under six pounds. Since then, he has been diagnosed with Failure to Thrive and we have now reached a point where we have to utilize a NG-Tube to get nutrients into him. I hope the best for you and your family. I am sure she will grow up to be a champ!
It is so hard to watch your child suffer. Is this a recent diagnosis or something he’s overcome? In any case, my heart goes out to you and your family.
All 3 of our daughters were preemies, the first baby, was a fighter! I’m so glad they all came home. We spent all day in the NICU, we practically made a home there! This is a tough situation for preemie parents, that’s why we’re blessed with the most special of children.
All 3! I have heard the likelihood of having a preemie after you’ve already had one is quite high.
It was definitely trail by fire.
My daughter was born at 30-31 weeks and she was 3lb dropped to 2.8 so small for a 31 weeker. She started breathing on her own but they vented her in the 1st 24 hours.. She was on the vent for a week. We spend 8 long weeks in the NICU. They look so alien .. or as I called her the skinny chicken. I remembering thinking if I could just find one thing to relate to this child .. her hands they looked like my husbands. We went through therapy for her being a low tone preemie, she did come home on a machine. She walked by 16 months, she was small with a big head (tell tail sign of a preemie) Around 2.5years old she grew 6 inches in a summer(you think it would hurt). The last hurtle for preemie who are normal is reading. My daughter is 7 and reading at a 4th grade level. It is amazing what your allien baby will accomplish. So glad I found your post on the google group SM. Great Post!
Thank you for sharing your story. I find that sometimes we feel all alone until we reach out and even if the tales of others are more difficult or easier than our own, it is comforting to be part of a community.
That is some great reading!
Our little guy was born 12 weeks early at only 1lb 5oz. It is a crazy scary time in the NICU, we weren’t able to bring him home until a week after his due date. We didn’t get nicu-itis, I had a sister with a 28 weeker exactly 9 years before mine (our preemie boys share a birthday!) and she told me early on to try not to look at the monitors all the time because they won’t be there when you get home so I tried to concentrate on knowing my baby and his cues instead of the monitors. We did chart his feedings, meds/vitamins & BMs at home but he’s now almost 11 months old and we’re into such a routine we haven’t documented feedings etc. for months! I love that you were so involved in your daughter’s cares, my husband was pretty terrified and it took awhile for him to be comfortable enough to do much of our son’s cares early on. He started getting comfortable about 2 months later.
My goodness! So small. I checked out your blog as well. I’ve never heard the term micro-preemie but that is a perfect term.
My mother in law was scared to hold her so I can relate to how your husband may have felt. Our little girl wasn’t nearly as small so I can’t imagine the range of emotions you felt.
Thank you so much for sharing your story.
Our son was only 3 weeks early, but we spent almost a week in the NICU due to some digestive issues (he wasn’t passing meconium at all, and once he was “cleared out”, they wouldn’t let him leave until he could prove he was a good eater and poop-passer). I remember it all as a big, terrifying fog…seeing him with the feeding tube, hearing all of the bells and alarms, not being able to really nurse him yet (but saving and bringing to the NICU every last micro-drop of pumped colostrum for them to give him!). The most compelling part, though, was the realization at how lucky we were – at 6lbs, our son was the biggest baby in the NICU, and we met families who had spent MONTHS there already.
We didn’t really develop NICU-itis (I was SO HAPPY to never hear those alarms again…I had nightmares about them!), but we did rely on the NICU nurses to teach us the finer points of newborn care while we were there. I’m a chart-a-holic anyway and was pretty crazy about logging feedings, changes, and sleep patterns on my iPhone app (best app ever!)…but that would’ve happened without the NICU experience.
NICU nurses, by the way, are amazing human beings on a whole new level I had never before seen. The care, compassion, professionalism and positive energy our nurses exhibited was breathtaking.
Thanks for sharing your story Lisa. “Chart-a-holic” I love that!
You’re so right. Our NICU nurses were spectacular. They will always have a special place in our hearts.