Brown Chicken Brown Cow

It is a common phrase in our house. I even taught it to my 5-year-old. He loves to say it over and over again when I bring it up. It just takes saying it one time to get him going.

“Brown chicken brown cow! Brown chicken Brown COW!” He bebops through the house, laughing at its rhythm. His baby brother on the floor, trying to keep up.

Pan to my wife and me sitting at the kitchen table. I have one eyebrow cocked, gazing at her intently. We have just finished dinner and are getting ready to take the kids to bed.

“So whaddaya think?” I ask.

She sighs and chuckles, “We JUST did it.”

“Yeah, like two days ago,” I say.

She rolls her eyes.

“Wha-aat?” I protest, as if we haven’t had this conversation before.

“YOU,” she says as she takes the dishes to the sink.

I slink up behind her and wrap my arms around her shoulders. I plant a soft  kiss on her neck. She smiles.

“Ok,” she says, “but you’re making bottles tonight.”

“Deal,” I say. I kiss her again.

The whole time, “Brown Chicken Brown Cow!” is playing through the house, providing the soundtrack to our clandestine agreement.

Later on in life, I’m sure my son will find out that “Brown Chicken Brown Cow” sounds somewhat like cliché adult film music, but for now we are safe using it as a code word for “doin’ the deed.”  My wife and I  have realized that playful banter between us helps keep the spark alive in our marriage. Using code words, acronyms, and other innuendos allows us to talk openly yet discreetly about our desires. It adds an element of danger and anticipation, and energizes us for what is to come. Lord knows we need energy. We have two children.

I love that we have learned to speak to each other on this level. We didn’t always get each other’s sense of humor, but it has all come together beautifully over the last 10 years. We speak our own language, and year after year we become exponentially closer. I can’t wait to see what the next 50 have in store, and what we will come up with next….Brown Chicken Brown COW.

Do you and your spouse speak your own language?



The Beginning
About Jared Tullos

Husband and Father to 3. Doodler, Tinkerer, Stinkerer. Regional Standout in Staying Alive the Goodest.

As a Southern country boy living in the city, I have experienced both the horror of gridlock traffic and the hilarity of seeing a chicken eat a snake.

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  1. I NEED to come up with a better “Sexy Time” code for bringing up the horizontal mambo other than the usual, “How YOU doin’?”

    This post has challenged me to up my dirty-talk game! 😉

    • Nice, glad I could help. We have a surprising amount of acronyms. We like to keep it fun, but I will admit, I am guilty of the classic, “So you wanna do it or what?”

    • I LOVE “How YOU doin’?”
      It’s funny. It’s too the point. It’s over the kids’ heads.
      What’s not to love?

  2. I think every couple needs a codeword or two. Around here, if the kids are around, one of us may ask the other if they want to make time to “do laundry”. I figure we have a few more years before our oldest notices that the laundry doesn’t folded and put away during our “laundry” time.

  3. James Hudyma says:

    During the holiday season and near birthdays we need privacy to “wrap presents”.

This is what I think...