Inspired to Be A Dad

I am a dad.  I have a daughter and a son.  I survived, colic, teething, and potty-training… twice.  I have been peed on, pooped on, spit-up on, barfed on, drolled on, etc… twice.  I have done the feedings and the changes while half-sleep in the middle of the night.  I’ve consoled through doctor’s visits and vaccines.  I’ve transitioned from crib to toddler bed, to big bed… twice.  I’ve reacted, routined, and disciplined.  I’ve done snack time, playtime, and bed time.  I’ve been kicked, punched, and slapped… in my sleep.  I’ve lost sleep, hair, and a six-pack.  All in the name of the Dadhood, and I have loved every second of it.

I won’t go into my own issues with my dads (that’s what my blog is for), but I will say that I am one to learn from the mistakes of those in front of me.  I wasn’t quite sure what to expect from having kids, and I didn’t exactly know how I would be as a dad.  I had fun in the conception, and had a mental idea of what was going on during my wife’s pregnancy, but I had no idea what I would be getting into.  There were things that my preggo wife and I had talked about as far as values and beliefs we held, and how we would raise our kids, but what kind of dad would I be when this tiny thing that eats, cries, poops, and chokes on things comes into my home and I am supposed to care for it?  I had no idea.  I had no frame of reference.  I only had nephews and a niece that I loved, but that didn’t hit me at the level that being a dad did.

Something happened to me during the course of the delivery of my daughter.  I didn’t have an epidural, endure mind-twisting contraction pain, or push a watermelon out of a lemon-sized hole while worrying about pooping on a table.  What did happen, was something that hit me in my core.  I was a DAD.  That was my DAUGHTER.  HOLY *@#%$*#!!!!!!  I had tunnel-vision for that little girl.  My wife had done something divine… something miraculous.  The two of us, in love, created a family.  The issues of my own family disappeared from my mind and were replaced with a single thought, “This is my turn.”

It was my turn to be the dad mine were unable to be.  It was my turn to follow-through on the promises that were broken to me:

I love you.
I’m here for you.  
I will always be here for you.  

I gave my daughter her first kiss ever, and have been unable to stop since.  I have taken on the role as Dad the best I could, and though my wife says I’m doing a pretty good job, I believe that just in the trying to do my best, my kids will turn out okay.  As long as we push and strive to be better, we will continue to grow, and our kids will benefit from it.  As long as we don’t settle for being just better than our own examples, as long as we continue to engage with our kids, and create memories with them, they will turn out somewhat normal.  You can read to them, teach them, discipline them, and clean them, but the one thing they will want from us the most will be our loving attention.

Though my daughter was growing and developing in my wife for months, it felt like a slap to the face the moment she was born.  In an instant, I went from a guy who knocked-up his wife to a DAD.  It was a flash of clarity.  All the jokes, classes, and worries became real when I held that little crying ball of perfection in my arms.

I am forever thankful for the chance to be a dad.  It is not something that is given to you, but you have to earn everyday.

-JB

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Comments

  1. Incredible post! 

  2. Robert says:

    JB!

    What an inspiring piece man. I started a blog to write stuff like this. And connect with you guys who I feel are similar in mind. And this is how I see myself in 3 months! Yo, I wish the best for you and your family.

    Robert
    http://www.thescareddad.com

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