Failing as a Dad

I am not always proud of the parent that I am.

 

Sometimes I just wish I could erase huge blocks of time from my life.  I don’t want to remember the half hour screaming matches or the times I wish my kids were not around.  They can be tough to deal with sometimes.  Being a parent isn’t always peaches and rose petals, but it seems too much of the time is spent in arguments over clothes or what shoes to wear.  It seems lately that I am remembering too many of those moments and if I am, what are the kids thinking.I don’t want them to think that I am some monster.

 

They really are the best kids
The frustration boils over sometimes and when it comes out, it comes out.  Normally if you get mad or frustrated with something you have an avenue to calm yourself down, but when it’s just you and one of your kids, what are you supposed to do?

 

I yell, and I yell way too much.

 

I just can’t think of anything else to do and I know that this is not the best course of action because it’s only going to make the situation worse.  Picture a four year old who can’t make up his mind over what shirt to wear, he’s frustrated and angry already, and then throw in a parent screaming at the top of his lungs.  If I was a four year old I surely wouldn’t like it and I would probably scream and cry a little louder.  That in turn makes me scream a little louder, which makes everything that much worse.

 

I would never do anything to harm these kids, but it frustrates me to no end when situations just spiral out of control.  How DO you control yourself when you have a kid crying hysterically and the only thing you want him to do is to stop?

They are great kids 99% of the time, but too often I’m remembering that other 1%.

I am constantly learning how to be a better parent, but sometimes it seems like I am failing the class.

-JW

 

The Beginning
About Daddysincharge

After 15 years as a News Photographer in the fast paced world of television news, I am now knee deep in Legos and laundry as the stay at home dad to to little boys. It was my choice to stay at home, so don't look at me like I am some kid of freak show. We're all parents just trying to raise our kids the right way. Some might be better at it than others, but if our kids love us for who we are, who cares.

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Comments

  1. Dads r us says:

    Hey Jw
    Its cool JW…
    Just walk away and let it simmer down.
    When all you want is them to stop… ignore or walk away.
    sometimes being late or having to be less than perfectly prepared for something is a part of being a parent. You are not failing you just need to cope with the stress we all naturally feel. Only engage with your kids when they are cool and only talk to them with a level cool head also. Explain the situation modelling calm behaviour while ignoring that behvaiour that is wrong will eventually bring them around. Destress with an activity you like or exercise or meditation. You will not fail if you have a goal continue to reach out for help. Take it easy on yourself also. Forgiveness is a powerful tool for your self and others. It will release your attachment to the problem not the person. good luck!

  2. Story of my life. I said almost these exact words to my wife last night, that I felt like I failed the weekend.

  3. I think we’ve all be there.

    At some point you start to realize you gotta pick your battles. Clothes they decide to wear today that make them look scruffy? Not really important. Disrespecting your wife? Very important!

    Kids always seem to know how to bring our the best and worse in us. We’ve got to make sure the balance is tipped in the best direction.

This is what I think...

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