Frequent urination? We found the cure!

As I fidget nervously in the doctor’s office, I finally just tell myself to be out with it. He is a doctor, after all.

“Doc, I think I pee too much. I have the bladder of a 7-year-old.”

The doc chuckles.

We discuss the issue. It’s nothing terribly serious, really, but it is annoying that I have to stop several more times on road trips than I would prefer. It also annoys the family, who, as you can probably assume, just want to get there already.

He tells me there is a new ‘once daily’ pill that he has seen good results with. Since it isn’t a severe issue, he recommended starting with this and see how I respond.

We schedule a follow-up a month later, I grab my prescription and tri-fold brochure from the waiting room about the pill, and head to the pharmacist. As I wait for the scrip to get filled, I read the brochure.

It’s a nice brochure. Shows a man my age out on a nice, calm day riding a bike in the middle of nowhere near where I live. There’s a toothy, open-mouthed smile on his face, as if he just learned the sweet, sweet meaning of life.

It reads:

NoMoUrina

(DiHexaMorachloridaphilandreathricalatoloxolide-hydroureamoxacilliniamacorathrichlamathrosynticide)

NoMoUrina is a once daily pill that helps calms light to moderate OABS (over-active bladder syndrome.)  Signs of light to moderate over-active bladder syndrome can include increased frequency of urination and the feeling of needing to urinate, even after you have already evacuated your bladder.

NoMoUrina is recommended for anyone who experiences these or other mild bladder issues. NoMoUrina should only be taken under the advice of your doctor.

Like all medications, NoMoUrina may also cause some possible side effects.

Most common NoMoUrina side effects may include: headache, dry mouth, and dry, itchy skin.

Less common side effects that may temporary also occur are bladder palpitations, discolored urine, temporary visual changes like blurring of vision, increased light sensitivity, a tinge of vision with yellow color.

In rare cases, patients taking NoMoUrina reported a sudden decrease or loss of vision in one or both eyes. Some patients also reported heart attack, stroke, irregular heart beats, uncontrollable muscle spasms, sudden hair loss, uncontrollable hiccups, loss of feeling in one or all limbs, anal leakage, detached retinas, ringing and/or bleeding from the ears, loss of finger and toenails, brittle bones, dislodging of cartilage in the ears and nose, unmanageable banana odor to breath and/or flatulation, erections lasting three or more days, increased pheromone levels (typically only noticeable by dogs, cats, and rhesus monkeys), multiple organ failure, cold clammy skin, blue or fuchsia tinted discoloration on the skin, spontaneous combustion, painful or uncomfortable gender switching, growth of a second spleen, loss of head above the neckline, speaking in tongues,  death, insatiable cravings for seaweed or blue coconut slushes, and intestinal discomfort.

It is not possible to determine whether these events are related directly to these medications, to other factors such as high blood pressure or diabetes, or to a combination of these. If you notice any of the above side-effects, stop taking NoMoUrina and contact your doctor immediately.

“Mr. Johnson, your prescription is ready.”

 

Shocked

Ever wonder if the side-effects are really worth the cure? I’m beginning to get a little critical. 

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The Beginning
About Brandon P. Duncan

Brandon is a dad, husband, US Soldier, and co-founder of Dads Round Table.
When not knee-deep in one of those things, he can often be found tinkering with a woodworking project, writing, drawing, or Photoshopping something... or napping... or he's hurt himself again... or... something...

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