Scented Shower Gel Nearly Destroyed My Marriage

What do herpes, yeast infections, and allergic reactions have in common?

After the birth of our youngest child my wife developed an obsession for The Body Shop‘s Satsuma line. Our house smelled like freshly peeled Satsuma oranges for nearly a year. We had everything from Satsuma room fresheners to Satsuma body butter. Not anymore.

Other than a severe Satsuma addiction, something else developed after the birth of our youngest child. My wife began getting very frequent yeast infections, or so we thought. We’re working parents with young kids. Making time to make love doesn’t happen near as much as it should. Now these “infections” were making those times fewer and farther between.  Although the intent was there and as much as the thought counts, our diminished sex life was beginning to erode our relationship.

What could be causing these yeast infections? Our family doctor referred her to a gynecologist. The soonest appointment was in 6 weeks. In the meantime we asked Dr. Google. Big mistake.

Did you know chronic yeast infections could be a sign of a genital herpes infection? Did you know a yeast infection shares symptoms with a herpes outbreak? Admittedly, my wife is a bit of a hypochondriac. It didn’t take her long to convince herself she had somehow contracted herpes. From there she imagined the horror and embarrassment. She would feel dirty.  People would think she was a slut but she’s not and has never been a slut. Why was this happening to her?! And then the second line of questioning began.

Where did the herpes come from?

I wasn’t openly accused but the implications were strong. Guilty until proven innocent. This didn’t go well.

Six weeks of hell had passed. My wife called me at work after the appointment. Angry. The doctor required blood and urine samples in order to help narrow down the possibilities. One of the tests was to detect a herpes infection. Results and a follow-up appointment in 2 weeks. More hell.

Two weeks later I get a text from my wife. She doesn’t have herpes. She doesn’t have anything. She’s been referred to a dermatologist. Fortunately, the dermatologist had a cancellation and my wife was on her way to the clinic. I left work to meet her there.

You’ve got quite the irritation down there.  Do you use scented soap?

Yeast Infections - Dads Round Table

Photo credit: Ani-Bee / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND



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About Arthur Knight

Arthur resides on the Isle of Avalon with his wife Gwen. His literary accomplishments are legendary throughout Great Britain. Arthur's children have children of their own and although he and his wife are empty nesters, their home is seldom empty.

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