Pro Tips for the New Husband

If you’re preparing to walk down the aisle to pledge your life, love and fidelity to the woman of your dreams, you’d better be prepared. And by “be prepared” I don’t mean moving in with your betrothed to play house for a few months or years before getting hitched. That’s child’s play, my man.

What I’m talking about is good, old-fashioned recon into the mind, heart and soul of the woman you are about to try and spend the rest of your life with.

But, wait, you say. I know that I love her and I know that we have our differences but there’s nothing we can’t overcome. My response — simmer down, rookie. Dating is easy, bro. Anybody can date. Once the rings are exchanged and permanently affixed to those fingers, it’s like being called up to the majors — you’re facing fastballs at a speed that makes you want to jump into Mommy’s arms for protection.

But this is where you gotta hang in. You gotta dig your cleats into the dirt, spit on your hands, grip the bat and stare down that opposing pitcher. This is where we separate the men from the boys.

So, here goes. Here are a few pro tips for the dudes about to be hubbies.

How does she handle money? Is it cute when she goes to the mall and needs her own luggage handler to load her bags into the car? Sure, it’s fine now that you’re both working and have tons of disposable cash. But trust me. Seriously, trust me on this — once you get married you will argue over money more than any other topic. So, get straight about who handles the money, how much you’ll save for retirement, what your spending habits are, etc. You want to have open lines of communication about the dollars and cents.

How compatible are you? Sure, you’re super- attracted to her and she gets along great with all your friends. Plus, you both love Netflix. But you might want to dig a little deeper before a monumental decision like, ahem, marriage. Think about it — are you a neat freak? Do you hate to help out around the house? You might need to rethink your priorities on some of those things and you might be expecting her to do the same. Here’s the bottom line — talk about these things ahead of time. Decide if any of the stuff that truly bothers you is a dealbreaker BEFORE you get married. If it’s a problem now, it will really be a problem once there’s no turning back.

How does she handle problems? When there’s a crisis, does she cower in a corner and refuse to deal with it? Does she get frantic? Does she react calmly? Does she expect you to clean up her mess? Be honest with yourself about how you handle problems TOGETHER because that’s what marriage is — dealing with life as a team. If she is the one, you’ll know that she has your back and you have hers. Always.

How many kids does she want? Do you want kids at all? This is one of those no-brainer questions that you kinda need to sort out pre-husband/wife.

Snuggling versus sex. Look, sex is best. But once you get married, things change. The sex is…different. And after a few years of marriage it can become…routine. Every once in a while, just cuddle or snuggle. Or hold hands. Or some other form of intimacy that isn’t sex. It will be new and exciting and might even lead to a roll in the hay.

Your bodies may change. First, she’ll probably get pregnant at some point and things will happen to her body that excite/frighten you. And you — you’re probably not going to be as concerned about keeping up that dating bod like when you were single. In fact, you both might slack off to the tune of 5 or 25 pounds. Get ready.

Your “Me” time is in serious jeopardy. Do you have a golf addiction or a weekly poker night with the guys? Do you enjoy hanging out at the “gentleman’s clubs” or going to happy hour? It’s all fun and games while you’re dating but once there are kids, bills and demands around the house, that personal time might go bye-bye. You have to be ok with it or else you will wind up resenting your spouse and that leads to indifference and that can lead to big problems.

YOUR. LIFE. WILL. CHANGE. Here’s the thing about marriage — it changes things. And take it from a happily married man –the changes may be subtle and they can be exhilarating and richly rewarding. You have a partner who loves you and wants nothing more than to share their life you and vice versa. But those changes are serious — you are committed to this woman and she to you. That’s a major responsibility, my friend.


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About Happiest Daddy

Two boys, one wife and a ton of material. I live for family and I'm one of the most blessed people you will ever meet.

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