A Dozen Parents I’ve Met

It’s been about 5 years since I pledged allegiance to the fatherhood fraternity. And I’ve loved nearly every sleep-deprived second of it.

Once of the things I’ve enjoyed is parent-watching. From Mommy & Me classes to the sports field, from the grocery store to the doctor’s office, I’ve seen a multitude of parenting styles and types. It’s been enough to fill a Master’s Program in Parenting.

Here is a partial (and growing) list of parents I’ve met:

The Twin Parent. That’s the one where the child dresses just like their parent. My favorite was the 2-year-old with a mohawk and faux tattoo. And no, it wasn’t Halloween.

The Over Parent. That’s the one where Mom hovers, Dad frets and the Kid loses.

The Oversharing Parent. Yeah, I really didn’t need to know about EVERY bowel movement/snotfest/barfing episode that your kid has had in all 12 years of their life. But thanks for sharing!

The Under Parent. Yo. You’ve got a kid. Pay some attention to him!

Distracted Parent. That’s the one where the parent might as well be parenting their iPhone.

The Know-It-All Parent. That’s the one where no matter how you’re parenting your child, you’re doing it wrong and the Know-It-All Parent is there to help you!

The Perfect Parent. That’s the one where the kids are perfect — Smart. Talented. Sweet. Except they’re not.

The Anti-Bacterial Parent. This parent has Wet Wipes in one pocket and anti-bacterial soap in the other. Plus, they have a bottle of bleach in the trunk.

 The I-Won’t-Let-My-Kids-Do-Anything-Fun Parent. There’s no running, no climbing, no wrestling. And absolutely no fast food. The only things the kids can do are breathe and sit.

The Organic Parent. This is the one where their children only eat organic, farm raised food. Don’t even think about offering your Goldfish crackers, Fruit Snacks and Capri Sun to this kid. Yuck!

The Yell-At-My-Kid Parent. This parent wouldn’t know an inside voice if it snuck up and whispered in its’ ear. And it wouldn’t know how NOT to express their feelings if their lives depended on it. This parent makes me want to give their child a hug that would last for months.

The Over-Involved Parent. Ok, your kid is in soccer. And baseball. And karate. And plays piano. And started a charity. And gets straight A’s. And nearly cured cancer. I’m impressed. My kid can barely tie his shoes. Now, please, stop talking to me!

(Photo credit: afagen / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA)

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