My Wife, the Sleepy Goalie

Deflection to the left. Block on the right. A stop in the middle.

It’s another successful effort by my wife, the untrained goalie, to shut down an intruder. She’s not stopping soccer balls or hockey pucks, though. She’s impeding the forward progress of a determined 2-year-old who wants to climb in our bed. And to make her feats of agility even more remarkable, she’s usually repeling his advances with one eye open at 2:17 in the morning, or some other ungodly hour.

For us, Mommy & Daddy’s sleep and bed are sacrosanct. And our youngest is quickly learning that like all defeated warriors, he must retreat to his quarters and live to fight another day.

Before we had children, my wife and I would shake our heads at our friends who allowed their kids to sleep with them. It’s not that we don’t love our kids or want them close to us but in our lives, the idea of sharing a bed with a child hellbent on sprawling out and digging an appendage into places where an appendage does not belong, was a recipe for tiredness on a galactic scale.

This has been a new phenomenon in our house. We recently moved and, as part of the transition, the 2-year-old moved into a big boy bed. He routinely leaves his cozy confines after bedtime to inform us that he’s “out of his bed.” He gets marched right back. Again. And again. And again. And again. You get the idea. It’s exasperating.

When he does fall asleep, he doesn’t always stay there. In the middle of the night, when the house is dark and quiet, tiny feet tiptoe across our floors, destined for our bed. We’ve tried everything. We closed our door. We let him sleep with us. We let him sleep with us until he fell asleep but he always awoke when we returned him to his room. We even set up a spot for him on the floor of our room.

But nothing worked. That is, until my wife donned her metaphorical pads and gloves and obstructed one of the loves of our lives.

After talking to many parents, I realize this is not an uncommon issue and everyone deals with it on their own terms, in a way that works for them. For us, it’s about protecting our territory — our bed. And our goal is to get as much rest as humanly possible with two kids 4 and under stalking our every move. Plus, there must be boundaries for our children. They consume — in the best way possible — our waking hours. We give ourselves to them freely, openly and fully to indulge most of their whims and desires. But our bed is off-limits during sleep hours.

Thankfully, I’ve got a talented goalie with quick hands, fast feet and the reflexes of a ninja by my side guarding us.

Photo credit: theMatthewBlack / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0)


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About Happiest Daddy

Two boys, one wife and a ton of material. I live for family and I'm one of the most blessed people you will ever meet.

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